He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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