There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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