i permit you to call me
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
