what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize