well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
