Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize