Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
