It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
