Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
He has the fingertips of a God
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