thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
