Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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