he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
