Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Randomize
