gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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