I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
