No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
