love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
So here I am, sexting at work.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
