I don't usually arrange sex via text message
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize
