The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Randomize
