Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Already got asked if we're dating
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Randomize
