No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
