I just made out with a guy for $7.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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