that's an acceptable place to lick
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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