Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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