let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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