well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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