I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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