she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
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