Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
