Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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