Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize