He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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