smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
