Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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