Christians are straight up FREAKS
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
