the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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