i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
