i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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