i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
