Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
