You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
