Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
