I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Randomize
