hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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