ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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