my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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