i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
