I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
