Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
