Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I forget how to act sober
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize