Don't you send me to vm
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
