i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Randomize
