I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
