Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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