i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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