Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
