Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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