is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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