: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
