You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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