i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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