Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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