I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Randomize
