We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
