Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
