It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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