She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
