What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
