So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Randomize
