one two three fourrrrnication!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
