My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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