the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize