More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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